Quantum Kitchen, Quantum Chicken

During lunch today, my co-workers and I were discussing how to properly marinade and grill vegetables. I didn't think that our conversation was going to take a turn for the...well, strange. I guess it was my fault after all...I did bring up the fact that a George Foreman grill's tray is not a singularity.

=== SNIP ===

[12:54] Alent_: mmm, grill...
[12:55] Alent_: i need a grill
[12:55] Conman: dude
[12:55] Conman: A grill is absolutely essential
[12:55] Alent_: like a real one, not that stupid george forman
[12:55] Alent_: i know XD
[12:55] Alent_: but i put it on hold for teh wedding
[12:56] Alent_: after the wedding, man, after
[12:56] Conman: the foreman grill I have dubbed The Flavor Killer
[12:56] Alent_: lol
[12:56] Conman: hahha
[12:57] Conman: all that stuff that drips off the bottom
[12:57] Conman: thats the flavor
[12:58] Conman: being sucked away into oblivion
[12:58] vnv_lain: you can reclaim it and serve as gravy
[12:58] vnv_lain: it's not oblivion. a tray is not a singularity.
[12:59] Conman: haha
[12:59] Alent_: maybe connor's is
[12:59] Alent_: connor has a quantum kitchen
[12:59] Conman: well problem is that the flavor and the fat that you DO want to come off is also in the tray
[12:59] vnv_lain: the food changes depending on how you observe them
[13:01] Conman: so all you have to do is not observe the food in the grill and there will always exist A perfect chicken breast
[13:01] Conman: or....use a quantum timer!
[13:01] Conman: and stick the whole damn thing in a box
[13:02] Conman: you will have perfect chicken and burnt chicken at the same time!
[13:02] Alent_: or an uncooked chicken, you don't know
[13:02] vnv_lain: LMAO
[13:02] vnv_lain: oh man
[13:02] vnv_lain: more than two states!?
[13:02] vnv_lain: I don't speak non-binary!!!
[13:03] Alent_: sure, just apply the state machine pattern = p
[13:03] Conman: a continuum of states
[13:03] Alent_: encapsulate what changes!
[13:03] Conman: all relating to how long it takes for timers half life to expire
[13:03] Alent_: are we talking about the same thing anymore?
[13:04] vnv_lain: it's a quantum kitchen. are we ever sure?
[13:04] Alent_: good point
[13:04] Conman: not until we observe
[13:05] Alent_: ahem
[13:05] Alent_: NERDS!
[13:05] Conman: but we must pay heed to the uncertainty principle
[13:05] Conman: an objects state is disturbed simply by observing the object
[13:07] vnv_lain: timmy has a solution
[13:07] vnv_lain: put in multiple chicken into the oven
[13:08] vnv_lain: one of them is bound to be of the right state when we observe
[13:08] vnv_lain: chickenS
[13:08] vnv_lain: damn plurals
[13:08] Alent_: XD
[13:09] Conman: haha
[13:10] Conman: well the oven applies the same heat to all the chickens
[13:10] Conman: we need like N quantum timer based ovens each with their own chicken
[13:10] Conman: with probability 1/N that we do not get a good chicken
[13:11] Conman: with N = 10 we have a 90% probability of getting a good chicken

=== SNIP ===

Ladies and gentlemen, we now know that the probability of getting a good roasted chicken is pretty high. Our calculations and concepts of understanding the subject is probably pretty off, but maybe in subsequent observations you will see that we are right. ;)